Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The System is Very Flawed




I am a woman who must pay her husband of 28 years alimony and child support so he can relax and do nothing while I work to support him. Obviously, the system is very flawed. I did not marry my husband to raise children and be a homemaker. He had a profession when I married him and so did I.

When he became middle age crazy and decided to chase after my 20 something year old employee I was willing to forgive him and told him we could work it out. I did not want a divorce but he obviously did. So he walked out and refused to work or help me with the kids. Two years later after I have been the sole provider and caretaker of our children the Judge decided to give him custody and alimony for life. He got rewarded for walking out and abandoning his family and I got penalized for being responsible and paying the bills and rearing our children!

Perhaps alimony was needed in days of yore when women were a man's property and did not work outside the home. If a man chose to leave , some form of payment may have been called for ( a return of her dowry perhaps). Now I can not understand in this day and age why a healthy grown adult can sit on their butt and get paid for the rest of their lives simply because they used to be married to someone.

No one explained to me when I got married that I was giving up my constitutional rights .The Judge has told me I can not move further than 8 miles from my home without losing my kids. He has given my ex so many concessions that I have nothing to go to the bargaining table with. I am at the mercy of an appeals court that does not know me. I have been denied a right to trial by a jury of my peers. I would prefer to be a criminal as criminal court does not have the right to take my children away from me unless they are endangered. In family court they are taken away for no reason.

I'm not an alcoholic nor am I a prostitute or drug addict. I don't even have a speeding ticket! I am a loving mother and a conservative stable adult- same job for 29 years, same marriage for 28 years , same home and neighbors for 20 years, never been arrested. Now I have 3 contempt charges looming against me for petty nonsense about visitation and late alimony payments and I'm being accused of criminal behavior- no burden of proof for the accuser whatsoever.

No one seems to know about this until its too late. Shouldn't the state have to notify us up front prior to entering the marriage contract? Criminals get their rights read to them- why don't mothers and fathers and husbands and wives. I will never marry again but then I will be accused of being a "whore" or the "c" word(Which has been used by my ex) if I chose to have a serious relationship with someone without the benefit??? of marriage.

I'm vocal and I'm fighting but lawyers just throw up their hands and say "that's the law". Its a goldmine for them. Emotionally I feel like a rape victim that is forced to have sex with her attacker every month for the rest of his life. It makes no sense. Do you know of any successful legislation to reverse this travesty?

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