Boy, do I have bad news for you. I'm a woman who IS paying spousal support. We both have college degrees, 8-year marriage.
Year 1 - Equal salaries.
Year 2 - I worked. He gets laid off.
Year 3 - I worked. He says he's "depressed" from being laid off and can't find a new job.
Year 4 - I work, have baby #1. He gets crappy sales job 3 months after baby is born.
Year 5 - I get promotion, transfer, discover I'm pregnant w/ baby #2. He leaves his job and stays home.
Year 6 - I continue working. Kids are in full-time day-care but he still sits on his lazy ass.
Year 7 to 9 - I continue to work to support my kids and try to get his butt out of my house. He refuses to get a job and won't move out until a judge kicks him out.
I first talked to a lawyer in January 2002. He ran the numbers and I left his office and nearly vomited in the parking lot. His advice was to wait and hope that the SOB would actually make good on his promise that he was serious about getting a job. Of course it was a lie. Why would he interrupt his all-expense-paid vacation?
I finally gave up waiting and filed in April 2004. He tried to get sole custody of our two daughters who were then 4 and 6. The judge granted him 50%. He sued me for spousal support and child support.
Every month I have to pay the SOB an obscene amount of money plus pay all child care costs. And since we're still married, I have to pay for and keep him on my dental and medical insurance. In addition he is going to come after me for the equity in the house (to which he did not contribute a penny), my retirement, his attorney's fees, and who knows what else.
I've worked hard ALL my life - been with one company for 23 years. He's been a free-lance kind of person with the exception of the job he had when we were engaged and for the first year of our marriage. He really scammed me. My daughters will never make THAT mistake. Background check! Background check! Background check!
Not a pretty picture is it?
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